ARGH!!! (please excuse any names I didn't spell right)

What has Peter Jackson done to my beloved trilogy?!?!? The first two movies, while not as attentive to detail as my purist desires would like (after all, I can recite from memory the elven family lines), were still good movies. I've seen each film now at 12:01 opening day, and this time I am sadly distressed.

But RotK reeks!

Before I go into my 'this sucked' rant, let me give congratulations where they are due.

Creators of Gollum: You guys rule. Gollum is amazing, and deserves every award they can think of, plus some. And the actor behind the CGI - absolutely amazing. Top notch.

Cinematography: It is a crime against humanity that the New Zealand government required them to tear down Edoras. The scenes shot there show some of the most beautiful space on this planet. I'd have paid a kidney, arm, and two children to spend a weekend in Edoras on top of the cost of flying there. But it's all gone. Mr. Jackson - you picked the perfect site.

Rohirrim: Being a 30-something, I long ago lost the "die with valor and honor in battle" sentimentality, probably when people I grew up with went off to the 1st Persian Gulf War and came back all messed up. But looking at the looks of terror on their eyes and then they still ride forward into staggeringly outnumbering orcs, regroup and then charge against oliphaunts - gods above! I was about to burst with joy and pride. I leaned to my friends and actually said "now THATS the way to go, among such a people". By far the best part of the movie.

Now to what SUCKED.

Why do we show gollum's past NOW?!?!?!? What good does it do to show Smeagle and Deagle fight over the ring at the start of the 3rd movie? And why take so bloody long about it, too? We know he got it, we know it warped him. MOVE ON, for heaven's sake, don't kill the movie at the start with that drivel.

Could we have anymore long, drawn out scenes of little importance just to provide a minor explanation of what is going on? Say what is needed, then MOVE ON! We have so many 5 minute scenes of terrible slowness just to point out something minor. Cut the scene to the 30 seconds of explanation, and leave out the mind numbing aspects, please.

Slaying of the Nazgul king. This is a major part of the book, how the nazgul is slain when no man can slay a nazgul. Eowyn has been shown as a sword maiden in LotR: TT, but suddenly she can't fight! The original Charlie's Angels (from the tv series) fought better than Eowyn does. "Oh, don't hit me!" dodge, dodge, dodge, get knocked down. OOPS! This is the end. Oh, wait, I think I'll just kneel here and let you kill me without even trying to defend myself. PUH-LEEZE!!! And then to pull some epileptic fit as a death sequence - so poor. So very, very poor.

Sequence of the Battle of Pelinor Field. This is the climatic battle of Middle Earth in the 3rd Age. Why do we have to ruin it with some farse? Where are the men of Gondor? You know, the gallant, shining knights of tremendous honor, glory, bravery and strength of arm? You know, the ones who force march for days, come up the river and catch the orc rear just as the Rohirrim steam is running out? The Men of Gondor who save the day? Oh, yeah, let's just forget about them. Who needs them. We'll just bring in the crew of the Black Pearl from Pirates of the Caribbean to finish things. WHAT UTTER STUPIDITY!!!

What happened to the fight between Gandalf and the Witch King at the gates of Minas Tirath? You know, the threshold that had never been crossed by an enemy of Gondor? And when the gates are pounded down, the Witch King makes to be the first enemy ever to do so, but Gandalf pulls another "you shall not pass" manuever and drives away the nazgul? This would have been an epic scene. Instead we have Minas Tirath overrun by orcs and trolls, with Gandalf hiding behind the last door waxing eloquent about how dying isn't so bad, everyone must do it. Well, old chap, not all of us are lucky enough to have the chance to die twice like you, so quit hiding and DO WHAT TOLKIEN WROTE YOU DID!

While I may seem angry at this film, I'm sure I'll see it again, very soon. There were lots of parts that are awesome, such as: the scenes with Shelob in Ciroth Ungol; gollum's turning of Frodo against Samwise; the orc tower in Mordor where Frodo is taken; the Rohirrim; the Rohirrim; the Rohirrim, and the Rohirrim. I'll definitely be buying the extended version DVD, because I need to know what 45+ minutes were cut out (I read over an hour was cut, but not all will be put back). Perhaps those explained a bunch of the story line jumps that I missed.

So what do others think? Am I off base, or did this movie rock so much and I just missed it?