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  1. #1
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    A recent real-life encounter inspired me to write up my newest terrifying
    villain:


    DMV Guy
    ---------------------------------
    Medium Size Monstrous Humanoid
    Hit Dice: 4d10+4 (26 hp)
    Initiative: +1 (Dex)
    Speed: 30 feet
    AC: 15 (+1 Dex, +4 natural)
    Attacks: Clipboard +6 melee
    Damage: Clipboard 1d8+3
    Face/Reach: 5`x5` / 5`
    Special Attacks: Breath Weapon, Babble
    Special Qualities: Madness, Aversion
    Saves: Fort +1, Refl +5, Will +3
    Abilities: Str 15, Dex 13, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 8, Cha 6
    Skills: Climb +7, Hide +6, Listen +6, Search +5, Spot +3
    Feats: Quick Draw
    ---
    Climate Terrain: Bustling or Underground
    Organization: Solitary, gang (2-4), or pack (10-20)
    Challenge Rating: 4
    Treasure: None
    Alignment: Always neutral evil
    Advancement: By character class

    Breath Weapon(Su): Every 1d4 rounds, The DMV Guy can emit a 10-foot cone of
    repulsive gas as a breath weapon. Creatures within this cone must succeed
    at a Will save or be compelled to do nothing but move away from The DMV Guy
    for 1d6 rounds. This is a mind-influencing compulsion enchantment.

    Babble (Su): The DMV Guy constantly mutters and whines to himself, creating
    a hypnotic effect. All sane creatures within 60 feet of the DMV Guy must
    succeed at a Will save (DC 16) or be affected as though by a hypnotism spell
    for 2d4 rounds. This is a sonic, mind-affecting compulsion. Opponents who
    successfully save cannot be affected by The DMV Guy`s babble for one day.
    Most often, victims who make their save are requested and required to return
    again in 2d4 days.

    Madness(Su): Anyone targeting The DMV Guy with a mind-control or telepathic
    ability makes direct contact with its tortured mind and takes 1d4 points of
    temporary Wisdom damage.

    -Lord Rahvin

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  2. #2
    Site Moderator Ariadne's Avatar
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    Very funny... :) :) :)
    May Khirdai always bless your sword and his lightning struck your enemies!

  3. #3
    Birthright Developer irdeggman's Avatar
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    And that's why I'm glad they changed to allow "mail in" renewals in VA, of course they also closed several DMV offices and reduced their hours of operation due to "budget deficits".
    Duane Eggert

  4. #4
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    irdeggman wrote:

    >This post was generated by the Birthright.net message forum.
    > You can view the entire thread at: http://www.birthright.net/read.php?TID=1628
    >
    > irdeggman wrote:
    > And that`s why I`m glad they changed to allow "mail in" renewals in VA, of course they also closed several DMV offices and reduced their hours of operation due to "budget deficits".
    >
    I noticed the similarity to the Allip, however I´m still wondering what
    DMV means. Could someone post what this abbrevation stands for?
    bye
    Michael Romes

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  5. #5
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    Michael Romes,

    In the United States, DMV stands for "Division of Motor Vehicles." It's where we have to go to register our vehicles and get our driver's license. The typical experience is long waits and bureaucratic nonsense....

  6. #6
    Site Moderator geeman's Avatar
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    At 02:14 PM 5/2/2003 +0200, Michael Romes wrote:

    >I noticed the similarity to the Allip, however I´m still wondering what
    >DMV means. Could someone post what this abbrevation stands for?

    Department of Motor Vehicles, the notoriously tiresome and bureaucratic
    agency that handles vehicle registration and driver`s licensing in the US,
    arguably only surpassed in their banal evil by the IRS (Internal Revenue
    Service--the federal tax collectors.)

    In my experience, trips to the DMV are most notable not for their
    bureaucratic nonsense (which has actually been somewhat streamlined in
    recent years) but because one never fully experiences the total width,
    breadth and depth of human variation anywhere else. The extremes of
    humanity all go to the DMV and scuttle through those mazes of posts and
    ropes like sideshow freaks trapped in the hall of mirrors. The last time I
    was at the DMV someone asked me for the time and when I turned I was
    confronted by an impossibly shrivelled and wrinkled face that would have
    made prune look like the ripest and most succulent of fruits. Folds of
    skin seemed to have overpowered any facial features that might once have
    been there. Rheumy eyes peered out from two of the more pronounced
    wrinkes. The face was fantastically mustached and bearded with glossy
    white hairs of various lengths streaming every which way, as if the
    follicles themselves were trying to escape. It was a visage one might
    expect to see in an episode of Star Trek or in some other sci-fi creature
    shop, but not walking around in real life. My distaste turned to horror
    when I realized that what I at first took to be a sad, gnomish little man
    was, in fact, a woman.... Somehow I managed not to shriek. On my way to
    my car with my newly minted registration in hand a one-legged man on
    rickety crutches who claimed to be a Vietnam veteran (but was far too
    young) told me where to pick up street walkers on the nearby boulevard and
    then a Lokota Indian sang me The Travelling Song that my journey home
    (about a mile) might be safe. I gave the Indian a couple of bucks, but
    since I was pretty sure how the ersatz vet would spend his money I didn`t
    give him anything. True story (in a slightly anecdotal sense.)

    In BR terms, I don`t know if the DMV would really inspire a single
    awnsheghlien since the malamorphisms seem to ooze from the very cracks in
    the pavement. To accurately portray the DMV might take some sort of
    combination law holding/source holding that has some mutagenic effect on
    the population level of the province in which it is located.

    Gary

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  7. #7
    Site Moderator Ariadne's Avatar
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    Originally posted by quicksilver

    In the United States, DMV stands for "Division of Motor Vehicles." It's where we have to go to register our vehicles and get our driver's license. The typical experience is long waits and bureaucratic nonsense....
    And I thought the German bureaucracy is the most awful in the world. I'm wondering if those DMV's have German ancestors...
    May Khirdai always bless your sword and his lightning struck your enemies!

  8. #8
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    > And I thought the German bureaucracy is the most awful in the world. I`m wondering if those DMV`s have German ancestors...


    No, the DMV Guy`s ancestors are sub-terrestrial in origin; a result of
    disdainful in-breeding among some of the lower-level demons and their first
    cousins. To say that they evolved with the rest of life, as single-celled
    bacteria coming into existence from amino acids bonding in a protein sludge
    would be insulting even to single-celled bacteria which usually contain far
    more intelligence and dignity than even the highest evolved form of DMV Guy.

    -Lord Rahvin

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  9. #9
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    Ariadne wrote:

    >This post was generated by the Birthright.net message forum.
    > You can view the entire thread at: http://www.birthright.net/read.php?TID=1628
    >Ariadne wrote:
    >
    Originally posted by quicksilver
    >In the United States, DMV stands for "Division of Motor Vehicles." It`s where we have to go to register our vehicles and get our driver`s license. The typical experience is long waits and bureaucratic nonsense....
    >And I thought the German bureaucracy is the most awful in the world. I`m wondering if those DMV`s have German ancestors...
    >
    No, he had long waits and bureaucratic nonsense - in germany we have
    bureaucratic nonsense right from the start without having to wait for
    ;-) (we still have to wait for what we really wanted but not for the
    nonsens)
    bye
    Michael Romes

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  10. #10
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    On Fri, 2003-05-02 at 23:44, Gary wrote:
    At 02:14 PM 5/2/2003 +0200, Michael Romes wrote:

    >I noticed the similarity to the Allip, however I´m still wondering what
    >DMV means. Could someone post what this abbrevation stands for?

    Department of Motor Vehicles, the notoriously tiresome and bureaucratic
    agency that handles vehicle registration and driver`s licensing in the US,
    arguably only surpassed in their banal evil by the IRS (Internal Revenue
    Service--the federal tax collectors.)



    In BR terms, I don`t know if the DMV would really inspire a single
    awnsheghlien since the malamorphisms seem to ooze from the very cracks in
    the pavement. To accurately portray the DMV might take some sort of
    combination law holding/source holding that has some mutagenic effect on
    the population level of the province in which it is located.

    Gary

    Well .....
    There was once an NPC class written up in Dragon Magazine called, "the
    Bureaucrat", which would seem especially appropriate for BR where PCs
    are often dealing with officialdom in all its forms. Perhaps just one of
    these turns out to be an Awnsheghlien - with exaggerated powers?

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